Life or something like it..

What is life? Not the one you and me or a person next door are living. It's not the topping, but the deeper shit I am talking about.

Right from the schooling days we are grilled,to get into a decent school (entrances to get into 1st grade.. WTF?), then to secure a rank in class, write an entrance again to get into a coaching where we are left aghast,pondering over the knowledge 'junta' around possesses. Somehow make it to some engineering college, without actually having to deal with a chip in life we become an engineer by mugging every inch of words written by millman and some ass who probably didn't have lives of their own (or may be he did) :D . Sums up life of an average Indian adult.

Where is the room for my creativity,my decisions,my life?If I ask myself a question, "what do I want from my life", I am left scratching my balls pondering..Ehh.. Errr.. Pause... what the hell is that suppose to mean. My life.. decision..??? Everything in life has been spoon fed, everything's been taught as if, this is the way thing is, mug up if you can or come back after six months. I remember it very well, when in 1st or 2nd grade, I made a drawing of a house and painted it's wall black and had my teacher fuming for the reasons I didn't know then. Obviously, I never dared to do anything innovative in her class again. It was then, that I wasn't allowed to take my own decision. Over and over in life, similar incidences have happened again and again and again.I feel so feeble and drained now that I wish, I could change it, so that I could have my controls back in my hand.Today at this juncture in life, I feel I have lost the most gifted ability given to a man. Power to create. Power to do my thing. The one which I want to do, over and over again till I am left enervated. Let the energies actuate the cause is all I can wish. These few lines by kishore da explain the conundrum so well..


"Saahilon pe rehne waale.. kabhi sunaa to hogaa kahin.. Saagaron ki kashtiyon ka kahin kinaara hotaa nahin.. "

Signing off!

Sublime !

linkin park - numb piano

Talking Sense..

I cannot understand why we idle discussing religion. If we are honest—and scientists have to be—we must admit that religion is a jumble of false assertions, with no basis in reality. The very idea of God is a product of the human imagination. It is quite understandable why primitive people, who were so much more exposed to the overpowering forces of nature than we are today, should have personified these forces in fear and trembling. But nowadays, when we understand so many natural processes, we have no need for such solutions. I can't for the life of me see how the postulate of an Almighty God helps us in any way. What I do see is that this assumption leads to such unproductive questions as why God allows so much misery and injustice, the exploitation of the poor by the rich and all the other horrors He might have prevented. If religion is still being taught, it is by no means because its ideas still convince us, but simply because some of us want to keep the lower classes quiet. Quiet people are much easier to govern than clamorous and dissatisfied ones. They are also much easier to exploit. Religion is a kind of opium that allows a nation to lull itself into wishful dreams and so forget the injustices that are being perpetrated against the people. Hence the close alliance between those two great political forces, the State and the Church. Both need the illusion that a kindly God rewards—in heaven if not on earth—all those who have not risen up against injustice, who have done their duty quietly and uncomplainingly. That is precisely why the honest assertion that God is a mere product of the human imagination is branded as the worst of all mortal sins.

-By Paul Dirac while discussing with Heisenberg.

Getting in the grove.. Will be back soon.. :)

The Perennial Struggle

Call it eternal! Struggling through life. Struggling with constant thoughts of future, with the thought about the time going on. Have been living life in an imaginary world for quite some time. Reading quite a bit, watching a lot of movies just to get li'l sense from those. Having lived in virtual world for so long finding it really difficult to get along with the real one. There comes a time in everyone's life when noone's company can sooth you.Walking through a familiar crowd unnoticed. Still trying to come to terms with the losses I have had in past.Remembering people forgotten midway through the journey. One's Who mattered. The silences around are making deafening noise. The silences with in. Just need a path to take on. One path in which I want to travel long and far. A path which has challenges I would want to take head on. That answer is missing. That one direction is missing and my whole life hangs on with this question. What do I really want?

If most of us remain ignorant of ourselves, it is because self-knowledge is painful and we prefer the pleasures of illusion.

For you, a thousand times over!

And tears rolled down my cheeks every time I encountered this line in the fabulous read "The Kite Runner". This line, this very one line has mesmerized me, it has left me haunted and left me wanting for more. The most intriguing thing is the simplicity of the phrase. How beautifully it portrays the things which we would do for the one's we love without a second thought.

I read the novel for the second time some days back and the feelings have become only stronger.I have never read anything so touching and intriguing. The author has brought out the emotions so well, it feels like a part of my life now.I want to get everyone i know to read it, but at the same time, I have kinda grown possessive about it; it become like something that i really do not want to share with anybody else! Few things leave a lasting impressions on you. This book is certainly one of those. This line is certainly one of those.

Well..

I'm not much of a blogger. Never have been. Can see it as a piece of space for perenially talkative, visionaries wid their dreams, philosophers wid their theories, hardcore opnioned, unavoidably depressed and for stupids like me who fall into d none above.Every 4th or 5th person using net is a blogger today.And mind you, it's a pleasure to read blogs. Especially blogs written by people whom you know, but have always wanted to know better. It, no doubt, is a window to the deep compartments of the author's mind, which you have always wanted to open but never done it (yes, especially if it's a girl you have a secret crush on!).

I mostly enjoy reading the blogs of ppl whom I know and usually write on life. I find it a way of getting into the mind of d writer and find out what kind of character the blogger is.

Offcourse when u find interesting ppl on blogs but then there are counterparts too. Inevitably intelligent ppl whose blogs are basically enjoyed by d author himself.

I know it was a wierd thing to talk abt but then when u don't have anythin left in d head, these are d sort of ideas that come to your mind. This was just an example. There's more to follow... :)

10th November, friday.

The day was as usual un eventful for me, passed without much off fuss. Started wid gettin up 15 mins to college, reached college without havin breakfast imagin HOD's class only to know that another junior lecturer is taking class.Really sick of her and her remarks on my attendance,I'll miss one class n they will mark me absent for two.Actually I'm obssessed with her as she teaches two subjects n it's close to impossible to bear with her..Anyways, somehow her period came to end n then enters the DON of our dept. A good teacher but almost every person is sick of his N/V PJ's in class. And he cracked another bad one in class today.They are sick but we like it and the gals don't :D but man it should have some limits but unfortunately this person doesn't have any.Time passed by n period got over, now I was not at all in a mood to study so I started gossiping with my benchmate n another period got over.It was one in the afternoon n supposedly, half day for us n to our surprise we got half day.So college got over at one n I came back to room to surf the net n at 3'o clock i found that I'd not had lunch Went out n had somethin.Came back, tried to sleep for half an hour but couldn't.Had work in the evenin n since 9'o clock I've been sittin on net.It's 1 30 in the night n got to get up at 5 but still I'm here typin this post.Lord give me some brain so that I can use it constructively.

Tears in heaven!!!

I have been absolutely in love wid this song for quite sometime.. Kudos to Eric clapton !!!

1) A grieving clapton wrote his most famous song "Tears in heaven" for his 5 year old son conor who died of an accident.

2) Happy Times :) Clapton with son, Conor.

Would you know my nameIf I saw you in heaven?

Would it be the sameIf I saw you in heaven?
I must be strongAnd carry on,

'Cause I know I don't belongHere in heaven.
Would you hold my handIf I saw you in heaven?

Would you help me standIf I saw you in heaven?
I'll find my wayThrough night and day,

'Cause I know I just can't stayHere in heaven.
Time can bring you down,

Time can bend your knees.

Time can break your heart,

Have you begging please, begging please.
Beyond the door,There's peace I'm sure,

And I know there'll be no moreTears in heaven.
Would you know my nameIf I saw you in heaven?

Would it be the sameIf I saw you in heaven?
I must be strongAnd carry on,'

Cause I know I don't belongHere in heaven.

I'm Goin To Speak My Mind Bcoz I’ve Nothin To Loose!.

Lost in a world, that scares me to death Lost in a crowd,

I'm losing my breath Lost as a boy, lost as a man I need to grow up,

don't think I can Lost as a person, can't find my wayLost in life,

every day Lost in worry, who am I?All my life,

I've lived a lieLost to kindness, lost to loveLost in a sky,

like a new-born doveLost in thought, which I shouldn't doIt winds me up,

I can’t get throughLost to comfort, all kind wordsLost to advice, it isn't heard

Lost to those who really careAll these people, always thereLost in me, I

need a breakLost in wonder, which road to take?

Lost in a place I don't know wellWhere are you now?

There's no one to tell Lost in mind, lost in soulLost memories,

they're just a holeLost friends, lost mateGone now, yet I'm full of hate

Lost in a straight worldLost now, for what to sayLost in boredom,

think I'll leaveThere's a lot in life I need to achieve..